Pain

I’m going to wax philosophical on you all in this blog. I need to write this blog. I need to write it for me and for those I love.

You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about pain lately. Why pain? I get horrible migraines. Lately they feel as though they are worse; stronger, more painful and more often. Nobody knows why. All they can tell me is I don’t have a hole in my heart. I don’t have an artery in my head ready to burst and I don’t have a brain tumor (all good things I suppose). On top of the migraines life has seemed to be a constant struggle in our home the last few years. We struggle from being busy; busy and anxiously engaged in a good cause. We’re trying to get our dad through his undergrad and into vet school. We struggle through receiving half the income we had before and the same bills two incomes used to pay. We struggle with a dear son and his ADD + NLD. We struggle through the everyday trials in life.

I’ve been turning to the scriptures to find my “Balm of Gilead” and to be honest I haven’t really found it there. I think I have been reading too literally. I feel the spirit, but I just haven’t found the balm to my soul. I don’t feel like I have a huge sin that is harrowing my soul up to repentance…although I certainly have my weeknesses. Maybe I have forgotten the Lord in all things and I’m trying harder to plant the seed of faith and remember Him.

I turned instead to our living prophet and the apostles. I called up an inspired reason for the world wide web. I got into LDS.org and typed: pain in the heart. An article from October Conference 1998 by Robert D. Hales called Healing Soul and Body, popped up. His inspired talk addressed the pains I’m feeling completely. 12 years ago, this talk was written for me. Yes, it talks of repentance but it also talks of the necessity of pain to humble us so we can hear the Lord. He says we should not dwell on the pain but remember that Christ even Jesus suffered for these pains too. Something I know but have forgotten as I wallow in my pain. He encourages us to cast our burdens no matter how small more fully upon the Lord and look for his healing balm to follow. He suggests patience…something I’ve never been very good at. It’s one of my weeknesses along with a big mouth. Yes, I am aware.

A few more good articles and talks followed Elder Hales and I read them as well. I’m hoping soon to have “Balm of Gilead” flow to my soul or to have the hope of it. I guess one day they will end and I will have that perfect body spoken of in the scriptures.

If you made it to the end of my waxing philosophical, may you be blessed with the “Balm of Gilead”.

VMCAS

A quickie update....
Lynn's vet school applications went in on October first to 5 Veterinary schools along with a bunch of money. Many of the schools require the "official" application through the VMCAS system and then a supplementary application which is their way of getting money of the applicants. Most of the supplementary applications repeat the questions, or I should say go more in depth, on the questions from VMCAS.

Lynn applied to (in order of our preference):

Washington State University (Lynn's first choice)

Oregon State University (The kids and I choose this on first!)

Colorado State University

Kansas State University

University of Missouri at Columbia

The earliest we would hear anything is January, and only then if Lynn is a WICHE student who will have part of his tuition paid by the state of Utah. Most likely we won't hear a thing until February or March.

One thing Lynn has going for him is he is a tier on applicant, meaning he will be in the first group of applicants the school will look at. He has a high score. Now, start praying for me to be able to find a job when we get where ever it is we're going. :)

What do you do after you bomb an O-Chem test?

Slit your wrist! Actually...Lynn was shoeing a horse and slipped with his hoof knife. The funny thing was it was after he got 65% on an O-Chem test. When he walked into class the next morning he really has the professor thinking he'd cut his wrist out of being an emo about the test. He couldn't keep up the charade for long and burst out laughing and fessed up.

You must know he stopped by the Vet clinic first to see if Doc Moss would stitch him up. Nope. Doc told him to go to the "Damn" doctor and get a tetanus shot while he was at it. The vet techs did clean him up.

If you know Lynn...HE was saying to me. "Hey sweetie, look, you can see my fat tissues, I wonder if that's a ligament!" He was getting stitches tips from the doctor who stitched him up...ah Lynnie!

Brayden's Birthday Suit

All Brayden wanted for his 12th Birthday was a good looking suit so he would look nice when he passed the sacrament. It makes a mom proud.

I KNOW! I know...

I am a lousy blogger! AND Cher! I can see you are peeking from Peru! Guess what? e-mail me you new e-mail and blog address. :)

I am back at school hard at work. My naughty class last year came through! 90.5% on CRT Math Test and 86.7% on CRT reading test. PHEW! We worked our "tail feathers off" as a colleague often states.

I know I'm behind on posting our summer fun.

Some quick highlights:

Portland, Oregon trip for my cousin Alexis's wedding.

Barton family Reunion.

Brayden, scout camp at Loll where he passed swim check in 50 degree water etc. etc.

Brayden camping with G-ma and G-pa B and catching yummy trout.

Island park at the LeCheminants' cabin with their family and the Schaefermeyers. We toured Yellowstone where we saw a black bear, a grizzly, tons of bison and swam in Fire hole. Scott and Brook got my kids up on water skis. Jaci got them in canoes on the river. :)

Lynn went to organic chemistry all summer and got a B+.

Now...back to the grind.

Motivation

I just can't seem to get motivated to blog much. I think it's because I'm recovering. :) Yeah, that's it. RECOVERING! I'm only on the computer long enough to check my e-mail and write something snotty on Face book.

So...I will share with you a few sites that make me laugh or...really hold my interest because they are just GROSS!

www.peopleofwalmart.com I learned to LOVE Wal-mart while in Rogers/Bentonville AR on my mission. Nothing like hillbillies trying to get a deal!

www.thereifixedit.com Brayden hooked me up with this site. Being married to Lynn, I can sympathize and relate to kludgers everywhere. We bought Grandpa Floyd colorful rolls of electrical tape one year...he uses it for band aids...

www.popthatzit.com zits amuse me. I think they're awesome. The best part of my children becoming teenagers is I can hunt them down and pop their zits!

Horsie, Horsie on Your Way....

Winston Churchill said, "There's something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a man." Lynn has taken this quote quite literally and uses it for his mantra.

While the kids and I were in Portland, Oregon for my cousin's Big Fat Mormon/Greek wedding he had to stay behind and go to Organic Chemistry. (Lucky Him!) He decided to take his study buddy Jack on a weekend tromp into the mountains up above Smith and Morehouse to where the snow hadn't melted yet.


Isn't Lynn looking so cool in those glasses and with that mustache I LOVE so much? (Someone really needs to come up with a sarcasm font!)



Striker decided he wanted "in" on the good treats and walked right in to camp.

Henrietta had similar ideas...

Lynn should be glad horses don't mark their territory like dogs do...

Taking horses means one of them is going to lose a shoe. It's quite handy to have a farrier along.
He had a good rest and was able to come back and put his full effort back into his next O-chem test!

P.S. Oregon pictures coming soon!

Not a Girlie Girl

Elise informed me on Thursday evening she was not, "A Girlie girl." Now in my head I'm mentally going through her closet. All I can picture are clothes that are mostly pink and covered in frills. She walks like a definitely feminine girl, talks like a feminine girl, AND when we go on trips she's all about the gift shops.
"Hmm." I say. "What makes my pink girl say she isn't a Girlie girl?" Keep in mind I'm putting makeup on her while she's wearing a pink tutu getting ready to go on stage to dance, ahem.
"Well, I like to ride bikes." She ticks off on her fingers. "I like to ride scooters and horses. AND I can saddle Goliath by myself." "MOM, I walk in horse poo all the time and sometimes I shovel it!!!" "I hike, I camp, I can start a campfire..." On and on she goes.
I calmly listen while blinking my eyes. "Well, I can do all those things too and Dad thinks I'm pretty girlie." SILENCE "I just think you're a Girlie girl with personality. Besides, who wants to be a girl who CAN'T do all those things?"
"OHhh." Is the answer I get. She jumps up and runs off to tell off another girl in her dance class. In the distance I hear, "My mom says...."
If they only knew half the stuff her mom says. Like get your education, a man is NOT a plan. Being a smart girl is GOOD!

Brayden's First Dance

Every Year South Weber Elementary holds a dance for the Sixth Grade. Apparently the Core Curriculum includes "Social Dancing". The boys and girls spend a few months of their PE time learning line dances and "other" dances, "not to include slow dancing". The day arrived and Brayden dressed in his Sunday finest, a blue dress shirt, his universe tie from the Air and Space Museum in D.C., and of course dress slacks that were a tad bit too short. (He grows sooo fast I can't seem to keep him in pants long enough, unless they are too long).

The poor boy was so nervous he thought he was going to be sick. He did better when he got to school and saw all the other boys dressed in their finest. Right before the dance began he twisted and tortured his tie to death. The seam ended up splitting. Poor kid! If he only knew it will only get worse!

He only ended up dancing line dances. Despite the fact his BFF is a girl. They've been attached at the hip since first grade. He did tell me he got her a lemonade, and then he told me the teachers told the boys they had to get a drink for a girl before they got one for themselves...ahhh, now I understand. He told me his BFF talked to him a lot. DUH! I should have smacked him in the forehead. I had to explain to him she wanted him to ask her to dance. He told me there was, "NO WAY!" He was way too scared. I had to laugh. How is this boy Becky and Lynn's kid? As his Aunt Marilee says, "Dude, get your Lynn on!"

At least he really enjoyed the pineapple. The PTA had a lot of pineapple. AH! My baby boy!

5 Days of Smack Down and Counting....

So far the children being grounded from electronics hasn't been as bad or as much of a punishment on me as I thought it would be. Brayden is putting together model airplanes he has had for some time. The twins are playing in the basement with toys long forgotten and I get to watch a show or two I didn't know existed. They still are fighting in the mornings. Brayden can't resist teasing Elise and she bites every time. So the grounding will stay on a while longer.


As far as budget cuts at school... 2 days will be cut from the school year IF the school board approves it. Plus we have two furlough prep days which I will end up working for free. My salary is unfrozen to what I should have been paid this past year but not up to what I should be getting this next year. However, any pay raise I get will be eaten up in new insurance cost increases. So, what does it amount to? Gratitude for a job, and a pay check that doesn't bounce.

What do you mean no calling?

Lynn and I just got released from nursery. I'm actually missing my babies. Although...Sunday felt a lot like every other day of the week for me. They didn't have another calling for me to step right into and I don't know what to do with myself. I've always had a calling, or two or three. I can't sit through the entire block of meetings. No baby to take out... I borrowed one from a friend this Sunday. She has twins too, hers are girl/boy and they are 4 and she has a 1 year old. I borrowed the 1 year old. Her four year old boy was making faces at Brayden in Sacrament meeting and told his dad, "That man is funny." Brayden and I laughed out loud so much people turned to look at us. Brayden rubbed his face and said, "Yep, I've been shaving for weeks." :)

8 days of school left. Only it doesn't feel like it because it keeps snowing. I am counting down because this is the class you always hope you never get. One on One they are cute and you love them to death, but mixed together...volatile. Matches and gasoline. I think I wore out my "Teaching with Love and Logic" book this year and well and my "Tough Kid Toolbox". AND I think if I have to write on one more tracker, I might scream. Here's to summer vacation! The reason I became a teacher!

The Smack Down

All is Bliss and Joy at our house...Nah, did you really think so? Elise and Brayden have been fighting like, well let's just say they've put Becky and David to shame and THAT is saying a lot. Twice this past week Becky has nearly NOT beaten the buses to school because she left late after refereeing Elise and Bray fights.

Friday, both children were grounded from all electronics after multiple, tearful, phone calls to their Mom's cell phone while she was in school meetings. Becky was quite surprised to find all well, the house still standing, and the children playing peacefully when she got home, late, because of their fighting.

Did I mention they fight a lot? Saturday morning dawned a new glorious day full of screeching, hitting and well, FIGHTING. Abby got in on this one too. Becky and Lynn joined in a united front, talked to each child individually and put on the smack down.

AW, bummer! The DSs are skillfully hidden. The passwords have been changed on the computers, and Becky owns the remotes to the TVs. All three Barton Children are on electronic arrest until the PARENTS see noticeable change in their behavior.

Part of the SMACK DOWN includes: doing any chore cheerfully when Mom asks. If you say NO or throw a tantrum, Mom gets to put down tally marks for more chores.

Becky really hopes she lives through this one...

Mother's Day

I thought I would let you all know....

for Mother's Day, I packed my bags and headed to Puerto Rico for a few days with Jaci and Brook. I might, maybe, if I feel like it come back!

Washington State University

We did it! We got in the van, picked up a few USU animal science students and followed Dr. Stott to Pullman, Washington. 12 hours later we finally pulled in to the Veterinary hospital on campus.

Some things we learned:

1. Dr. Stott and his GPS do not = the shortest distance between point A and point B.
2. 18-23 year old girls still think Lynn is funny. idk why. LOL
3. The cardiac unit at the vet school studies grizzly bears while they hibernate to find out why they don't lose bone mass etc. unlike us poor humans.
4. A horse running on a horsie tread mill is quite a sight to see. Especially when he is a show off. Impressive when he runs 27.8 mph and doesn't break a sweat.
5. Becky gets a kick out of other people's pain. Like... the pre-vet student who only wants to study small animals. He was plastered against the wall and white as a sheet while watching the horsie run. Becky laughed and laughed and laughed. She'd have made him get closer to see if he would have actually passed out just to see if she could have gotten away with it, plus she's never seen anyone pass out from fear.
6. 18-23 year old girls put their i-pods in when Becky sings while driving.
7. At least the no-tell motel was clean.
8. Brigham young didn't design their city streets, a cow did.
9. Yep, we could live there.
10. ONE TINY PROBLEM: They're Cougars...ah but their colors are red and black, phew!

***Yes I know I'm slow in posting this, I will get around to adding pictures, I hope. Busy, Busy, Busy. Currently I'm "Leaving No child Untested". LOL

My Unca Yin a Towboy!

My two year old niece, Berkley, plays with this toy and says, "This a towboy. Like my Unca Yin."

Spring Breaking It!

So far we're having one heck of a Spring Break! We woke up to 8 inches of snow this morning! My children cheered because they were supposed to be helping me clean out the flower beds. We just watched snow melt instead.

I'm typing up my lone entry as an "Advanced Candidate" for National Boards. I'm having a REALLY difficult time putting my heart and soul into it. I only have to get .5 better on this entry than last year and I pass. It doesn't help that an instructor from last year told me, "No one cares what score you got. You either are or you aren't. It's like being pregnant. You're not highly qualified pregnant. You either are or you aren't." .5 and I am...

Lynn and I are, Ok I guess I'm a sortof chaperone, as we drive some pre-vet USU students along with Lynn up to WSU (Washington State) on Thursday for a conference. I guess I'll make use of their library and finish typing up my entry. Lynn can talk cows, horses and pigs...oh my!

Lynn says I have to quit telling people how good he is, it embarrasses him and he doesn't like it when people know stuff about him. So don't tell him you read this here. He is concurrently enrolled at USU and Weber State so he can take Organic Chemistry and public speaking this summer. apparently it makes it so he has enough credit to walk at USU next Spring if he loads his Fall and Winter semesters there. Currently he's swearing at the class schedules because he can't fit in histology (sp?) and dang the name of it escapes me at the moment. So he's taking a business class and pig production instead. Lucky him.

I hope your spring break has been warmer than ours!

Quick Update.... 'cuz that Be All I Gots Time fer...

First...Still no pictures. My STS guy couldn't fix it. Then H in my class, his dad specializes in data retrieval. He was sad to inform me all my pictures from December on through March I hadn't saved on my computer are now lost forever and ever.
Brayden: Oh heck, the kid's up to my neck...Oh wait scratch that I blinked and now he's up to my jaw. The pants I bought him for church 3 weeks ago are now too short. We went to "registration" at Junior High. I only hyperventilated a little bit. I'll recover...um NEVER. Lucky Kid only needs a Dpt booster shot. He wants to join band and play the trumpet. He's lockering with another 7th grader who's as tall as me. I told him to hang out a lot with J. As long as he hangs with almost 6 foot J, no one will pick on him. He's getting his Second Class in Scouts on Wednesday. AND...somehow...he got all 3s on his report card, our school district's equivalent to straight As. He recently discovered Face Book where he can now stalk the girls he has crushes on. In fact, he made quite the Valentine for one 6th grade girl he likes very much.
Abby: Got straight 3s as usual. :) She is still working on passing of her tap riffs in dance and can dance like a genie for ballet. She knows 6 of the 13 Articles of Faith. She is reading Harry Potter #6, and is the shortest in our family. She began a recent love affair with Star Wars. (Thanks so much Aunt Bean...)

Elise: Got straight 3s...duh, like she would get anything else, sheez. (Elise lingo) She Passed off all her tap riffs at dance and I understand she's the fastest tapper in her class, which really doesn't surprise me because she taps everywhere she goes, constantly making her mother insane until I banish her to the basement. Phew... She can dance like a genie too. She pesters me every day to rent Grease the movie so she can see them dance to the song she's dancing to at dance. She's taken over our Family Home Evenings with her twin sister Abby because apparently Lynn and I were falling down on the job. She had a special lesson on cursing just for her mom. Thanks Elise. :S

Lynn: He's worried he won't get a 4.0 this term and only a 3.9. Waa waa. No I really want him to do well. HE will. He's fascinated with floating animal fecal matter to find out which parasites they harbor. YUMMY! More and More often I find myself saying, "What is that smell?" "Gross! Lynn leave your boots in the garage. I don't think they literally meant sh*& kickers." He laughs. Guess I wasn't paying attention to Elise's lesson, sigh. Lynn and I will be driving to Washington State University next week for a pre-vet candidate thingy... I'll tell you how it goes. Maybe I'll take pictures.

The Blimey Truth

I'm always going to quit teaching once or twice a year. I walk into my Principal's office and exclaim, "I quit. I'm through, I don't care anymore and THEY don't pay me enough." She smiles hands me some chocolate tells me to have a seat and says back, "You don't really mean that. Tell me what happened." These quitting episodes always seem to coincide with Parent Teacher Conferences, the beginning of the Legislative sessions and the darkest part of winter and my nastiest cold of the year.
Usually it's because I told some parent what was up with their child and they didn't want to hear it...so I become the bad guy.

My problem is I tend to tell the truth. Un-sugar coated. Black and white with a how do you like that. My up front approach with my take it or leave it attitude gets me in trouble quite a bit. Apparently people aren't used to it. They're used to sweet little teachers who play nice. I've tried over the years to scale back and not be up front. Can't do it. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I call a spade a spade. One thing is for sure...you know where you stand with me, no games. I've learned it's how I am and so I must deal with the fall out.

I wonder though, "If you didn't want to know my opinion, Why did you ask in the first place?"

So...what kind of occupation should I have gone into where people need the Blimey Truth?

My Valentine!

Saturday morning I woke up to roses on the computer desk next to my bed. I really couldn't ask for anything more. Lynn also brought balloons and Symphony candy bars to the kids. Before getting all mushy you should know he calls these sorts of days, "Stupid pagan holidays!" He thinks he should be able to give his wife roses without being compelled to do so because somebody somewhere says he should. Sorry to break it to him... this one's a Catholic holiday. :)

I'm soooo glad he is my Valentine and rides to my rescue more often than not. My washing machine gave up the ghost and wouldn't drain. Lynn took it apart and got it to drain. THEN it was leaking water... he stopped the leaks. THEN the motor seized up and I began to cry. I had piles of dirty laundry and no tax return with which to buy a new washer. Lynn took it apart again, tinkered with the motor, put it back together and now it works like new. I now have 8 loads of laundry sorted and waiting for their turn and a washer that works.

THANKS! I LOVE YOU LYNNY! We've been together 16 years... Here's to many more!

Financial Stability

We're working on financial stability. Learning to live on a teacher's salary has been a challenge for us this last year and a half. Our income was cut by more than half. Luckily I finished my Master's degree and "came into the money". If you can call it that... We've been liquidating Lynn's "assets". We sold our '76 rusty, baby blue horse trailer and are onto the tool trailer next. I'm sad about the tool trailer because I was hoping to make it into my camping supply trailer. I guess I'll get over it. Lynn tells me we can get a camp trailer after vet school. I'm getting too old to sleep on the ground anyway. I hear Lynn all the way from Logan yelling, "I didn't say THAT!" I take liberties with what he says. Being that I've never gotten to quit teaching school after birthing twins and all... :)


I'm also working on financing the house under my name and my salary. It's amazing to me I finally make enough money to qualify all by myself. The appraiser came on Monday to look at the house for the new mortgage. Lynn was teasing him we needed it to come in at half a million. hee hee


They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Man I must be almost as tough as Wonder Woman these days!

btw these are old pictures I had on my computer I thought you might enjoy. Lynn in his typical pose. Elise reading and the first snow of the season.

I am not having the best of camera luck!!

So I took a bunch of pictures and my camera card crashed! So you only get to read what we have been up to... no pictures!

Our Mr. B has been one busy boy. He was in the Spelling Bee at school. He placed in the top 3 in his class and got to be in the school wide Spelling Bee. He finished 3 rounds before misspelling a word he knows. He says his nerves finally got to him. Never mind that all his former teachers, the principal, Mrs. K and his mom were all in tears at this momentous occasion. Speaking publicly is ONE HUMONGOUS step for Brayden, let alone in a competition. None of us could believe he did it. Usually he throws the competition in his class or refuses to participate.

He earned his Tenderfoot in Scouts...and the Cub Scouts finally got around to awarding him his Arrow of Light...7 months late. He was a bit of a stinker about it. He let everyone know he already had his Tenderfoot. The leaders had to hold his ceremony too...I was at parent teacher conferences and just couldn't get the chatty parents out of my room. I made it in the nick of time. Both sets of grandparents were there to cheer him on. I tell him all the time what a spoiled boy he is. Growing up, I only had a grandma on one side who always seemed to be on shift at the hospital and a cranky old grandpa on the other side. He gets smothered in love on all sides. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have a "friend" or I guess you could say "computer fix it guy", or "techno slave" at school who will be playing with my camera card. All of my photos of my students reading with our adopted grandmas and grandpas at the retirement home are on my card. If we get it fixed, pictures will come your way.

New Year's Resolutions...

Well, Honestly...
I'd like to tell y'all I'd set some. Like updating my blog each week, or losing some weight, or I dunno reading my scriptures for an hour each day, or something cool but ummm...

NOPE didn't make any this year. Well, I take that back...I guess I sorta did...

My plan is to get through one day at a time with a smile on my face. I figure at this juncture in my life, one day at a time is all y'alls are gonna get!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Santa Kevy Spud

Abby and Elise had Polar Express Day at School. OF COURSE SANTA NEEDED to visit. At first we asked Grandpa FLoyd to come be Santa. He had an appointment he couldn't miss and couldn't play Santa... So, we begged Lynn's little brother Kevin to come play the part. He was a little hesitant. He didn't want any little kids sitting on his lap. Kevy didn't want to feel like a pedophile. Luckily, he only had to walk to each of the classes and say, "HO, HO, HO," and pass out candy canes. He had a little trouble exiting the school when a first grade class spotted him and gave chase.

THANKS AGAIN UNCLE KEVY SPUD!

George Lucas

Brayden dressed as George Lucas for the 6th Grade Wax Museum Day.



He had to read biographies on George Lucas and write a report about him. He did a great job. He LOVES anything Star Wars and Indiana Jones... so follows George Lucas.