17 Years and Counting!

We did it! We made 17 years. Lynn likes to tell people this little story. When we were first engaged and went to visit our University ward Bishop. The Bishop said, "I didn't see this one coming. This is like hitching a mule to a thorough bred." Lynn pipes up and says, "Don't call my fiance a mule!" Classic Lynn.

Looking back, it feels more like a well matched pair work horse pulling team. I have this theory. Marriage isn't about finding the "one". It's about finding one you like/love and working your guts out to make it work. 1% stars in the eyes 99% work and tolerance.

Through the years we've been through a few storms: infertility, (if you can weather that one and stay married the rest is easy); twins; building houses; losing a dear sister; two Bachelor's degrees and one Master's; building and then losing a business; a son with NLD; entrance to vet school; AND trying to move our family to Missouri.

Through the years we've been through some MAJOR triumphs: overcoming infertility twice and being doubly blessed once; building our dream house and then not caring much when we had to sell it; two Bachelor's degrees and on Master's; earning a General Contractor's license, Getting into 5 vet schools; keeping the faith through it all.

Yes, a well matched team of work horses who trade off being the mule at times.

Special Needs Children

One of the things that can break a mother's heart is the constant battle and vigil she holds for her "special needs child". It is never ending. It is especially hard when your child holds no appearance of being special needs, nor do they "act" like they are special needs. The only thing to tip you off this child might be different is "They act sorta strange at times."

In the past two weeks I've battled a Junior High teacher about accepting 2 late assignments, a scout leader I would definitely in my strong un-lady like language call a prick (yes, I make my mother proud...), and the myriad of youth who make fun of and shun my child. Not to mention the adults in sacrament meeting who laugh at him when he doesn't "get" a pattern for passing the sacrament and messes up.

I've spent hours on my knees pleading for his saftey and happiness. I've worn out pens in the temple writing his name on little slips of paper. I spend hours explaining things normal children and their parents take for granted to his absolutely literal brain. I don't know how many times I've told him to "Write out the problem so the teacher knows you can solve it. She can't see what's in your head."

The worst are his anxiety attacks; especially when other adults take his anxiety to just be defiance. He feels his greatests accomplishment in life was overcoming his fear of waterskiing. I have some good friends to thank for that...and their great patience.

I spend time cuddling his younger sister who has taken it upon herself to his protector. She feels guilty when she fails and other people are mean to him or she overhears some of my battles with adults. I don't know how many times I've told her she's just a child and she doesn't have to take them on as well as me. I thank her for her great love for her brother. She's quite amazing.

I wish people could see what I see. He is sooo amazing. He has a talent for music like no other child I know. I wish I could do math in my head. I afraid I'm hopeless at that one. He is gentle. He loves animals and babies. I wish people knew how hard he tries and knew and celebrated all his little triumphs with us.

I have a cousin who has a special needs child who is much more obvious than mine. She often talks about how grateful she is when people include him and love him.

I think having this child in my home is teaching me more about "Judge not that ye be not judged."

And yet, through it all he seems to be thriving, accepting and happy. What more can you ask for?

What's Up?

This has been a well neglected blog. Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind or if it weren't attached as part of my brain, I would forget where I put it. Not that I'm complaining. The "sitting around and waiting" portion of our life seems to be over and we have moved into the "hurry and get where you're going" portion.

Lynn was accepted into four different vet schools. I know. What a smarty farty pants. We chose Mizzou. The University of Missouri at Columbia. things have gone nuts at our house. We're painting, laying tile and wood floors. All these little things which have been stacking up for three years while Lynn has been carrying a 4.0 or close enough to it. We hope to have it all finished in the next two weeks and list our home for sale.

Meanwhile.... I'm looking for teaching jobs in Missouri. There are plenty in St. Louis. I have offers. The only problem: I can't drive two hours to work. So, we're still praying for something to come open in Columbia. I get to go to the police station and get finger printed, again, only this time for a Missouri teaching license. I think teachers may get finger printed as much as criminals...seriously.

Everyone asks me how the kids are taking it. Well, sometimes they take it well and sometimes they don't. Little Abby crawled into my lap last night and started to cry. She's in 4th grade this year and studying Utah history; which means she knows that once upon a time they had a Mormon Extermination Act in Missouri. She's a little concerned. We had a nice talk. I told her I wish I could tell her everything would be perfect, wonderful and OK but I don't tell kids things I don't know to be true. All I can tell her is I have faith and hope things will go well and if she exercises her faith, Heavenly Father will watch out for us and what better thing can we ask for? Plus, she has her family. We're an awesome family so she won't be alone and better yet...she's a twin! A built in friend! How lucky is she?

Now...if I can find horse property for sale in the Columbia area at a good price we're in business!

Pain

I’m going to wax philosophical on you all in this blog. I need to write this blog. I need to write it for me and for those I love.

You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about pain lately. Why pain? I get horrible migraines. Lately they feel as though they are worse; stronger, more painful and more often. Nobody knows why. All they can tell me is I don’t have a hole in my heart. I don’t have an artery in my head ready to burst and I don’t have a brain tumor (all good things I suppose). On top of the migraines life has seemed to be a constant struggle in our home the last few years. We struggle from being busy; busy and anxiously engaged in a good cause. We’re trying to get our dad through his undergrad and into vet school. We struggle through receiving half the income we had before and the same bills two incomes used to pay. We struggle with a dear son and his ADD + NLD. We struggle through the everyday trials in life.

I’ve been turning to the scriptures to find my “Balm of Gilead” and to be honest I haven’t really found it there. I think I have been reading too literally. I feel the spirit, but I just haven’t found the balm to my soul. I don’t feel like I have a huge sin that is harrowing my soul up to repentance…although I certainly have my weeknesses. Maybe I have forgotten the Lord in all things and I’m trying harder to plant the seed of faith and remember Him.

I turned instead to our living prophet and the apostles. I called up an inspired reason for the world wide web. I got into LDS.org and typed: pain in the heart. An article from October Conference 1998 by Robert D. Hales called Healing Soul and Body, popped up. His inspired talk addressed the pains I’m feeling completely. 12 years ago, this talk was written for me. Yes, it talks of repentance but it also talks of the necessity of pain to humble us so we can hear the Lord. He says we should not dwell on the pain but remember that Christ even Jesus suffered for these pains too. Something I know but have forgotten as I wallow in my pain. He encourages us to cast our burdens no matter how small more fully upon the Lord and look for his healing balm to follow. He suggests patience…something I’ve never been very good at. It’s one of my weeknesses along with a big mouth. Yes, I am aware.

A few more good articles and talks followed Elder Hales and I read them as well. I’m hoping soon to have “Balm of Gilead” flow to my soul or to have the hope of it. I guess one day they will end and I will have that perfect body spoken of in the scriptures.

If you made it to the end of my waxing philosophical, may you be blessed with the “Balm of Gilead”.

VMCAS

A quickie update....
Lynn's vet school applications went in on October first to 5 Veterinary schools along with a bunch of money. Many of the schools require the "official" application through the VMCAS system and then a supplementary application which is their way of getting money of the applicants. Most of the supplementary applications repeat the questions, or I should say go more in depth, on the questions from VMCAS.

Lynn applied to (in order of our preference):

Washington State University (Lynn's first choice)

Oregon State University (The kids and I choose this on first!)

Colorado State University

Kansas State University

University of Missouri at Columbia

The earliest we would hear anything is January, and only then if Lynn is a WICHE student who will have part of his tuition paid by the state of Utah. Most likely we won't hear a thing until February or March.

One thing Lynn has going for him is he is a tier on applicant, meaning he will be in the first group of applicants the school will look at. He has a high score. Now, start praying for me to be able to find a job when we get where ever it is we're going. :)

What do you do after you bomb an O-Chem test?

Slit your wrist! Actually...Lynn was shoeing a horse and slipped with his hoof knife. The funny thing was it was after he got 65% on an O-Chem test. When he walked into class the next morning he really has the professor thinking he'd cut his wrist out of being an emo about the test. He couldn't keep up the charade for long and burst out laughing and fessed up.

You must know he stopped by the Vet clinic first to see if Doc Moss would stitch him up. Nope. Doc told him to go to the "Damn" doctor and get a tetanus shot while he was at it. The vet techs did clean him up.

If you know Lynn...HE was saying to me. "Hey sweetie, look, you can see my fat tissues, I wonder if that's a ligament!" He was getting stitches tips from the doctor who stitched him up...ah Lynnie!

Brayden's Birthday Suit

All Brayden wanted for his 12th Birthday was a good looking suit so he would look nice when he passed the sacrament. It makes a mom proud.